In many families, grandparents are often the quiet pillars — the steady presence in school pickup lines, the shared laughter over holidays, the familiar voice at the end of a long day. But when family life moves into the fraught corridors of litigation and courtrooms, these same pillars can find themselves shouldering burdens that stretch far beyond the emotional. In Australia today, a growing number of grandparents are making difficult decisions that involve more than concern for their children’s wellbeing — they are parting with significant portions of their financial security to support adult children embroiled in Family Court matters, a choice born from love but not without cost.
For Lucy,* it began with the simple and urgent need to protect her daughter as legal challenges unfurled following an abusive marital separation. Court orders that Lucy’s daughter described as punitive set in motion a legal journey that would span years and cost what Lucy described as “hundreds of thousands of dollars.” Watching a legal battle that seemed rooted in vindictiveness rather than justice, Lucy made the hard choice to shoulder the financial weight of legal representation, drawing on savings that she had planned to preserve for her retirement years.
Across the country, stories like Lucy’s echo a broader concern among legal professionals and families alike. Lawyers familiar with family law note that grandparents — particularly those not eligible for government‑funded legal aid — are increasingly drawing down their superannuation, tapping savings, or even redrawing mortgages to help cover the costs of legal battles that their children face. This is often the only way to ensure that a loved one has legal representation in cases where finances otherwise would preclude access to justice.
One grandparent, Max,* spoke of the fear that gripped him when his daughter’s legal case exposed patterns of documented domestic violence and yet led to drawn‑out litigation instead of quick resolution. His daughter, caring for her own children, had limited income and was denied legal aid, leaving Max no choice but to provide financial support from the outset. In his words, “How can you not help as a parent? You can’t sit on your hands and let this happen.”
Legal professionals highlight that this issue stems not from isolated hardship but from systemic gaps in the legal assistance framework. Only a small fraction of families qualify for funded legal help in family law cases, leaving a vast “missing middle” who can neither afford private legal fees nor access subsidised support. According to Vivian Galanis, a Sydney family law solicitor, this gap places immense psychological and financial pressure on grandparents who feel an obligation to step in, often at the expense of their own secure retirement plans.
The personal stories intersect with wider concerns about how family law systems support families going through conflict. Advocates for reform stress that early legal advice, greater cost certainty, and expanded pathways to assistance could ease the burden on families who currently resort to personal savings to meet legal costs. Experts argue that without multi‑faceted reform, the pressure on informal family networks — especially older Australians — will continue to grow.
Yet for grandparents like Lucy and Max, the impulse to help is deeply personal and grounded in love. It’s a belief that ensuring fair legal representation for loved ones, even at great personal cost, is better than stepping back and risking a less secure outcome for family members. For many, that choice is not just legal strategy but an act of deep familial care — one that leaves lasting impacts on their financial futures.
As these intergenerational stories unfold, families and policymakers alike are being reminded that justice systems do not function in isolation. The financial well‑being of older Australians, the accessibility of legal representation, and the emotional weight of family conflict are all part of a complex tapestry — one that demands thoughtful conversation as much as legal scrutiny.
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Sources : ABC News News Minimalist Legal Aid NSW guidance Parliamentary report on grandparent carers Australian Institute of Family Studies research